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Year in review . First line (or so) of the first post from each month.
- I'm back!! (pictures and stuff later...sleep now...12 hour car drive bad...)
- Excellent news! The distance learning program for Kent State will be in FRANKLIN next fall. That's like...so freaking close to home!!
- Really bored! So I decided to make a wallpaper featuring one of my favorite bands, BlackBlack.
- okay, i think i can quickly tell you guys about the phantom planet concert
- i haven't written on here in quite a while, so i'll give you all a quickie now.
life has been fairly regular. i go to work from 11-7 at the mum campus library. - i feel like i've been extra angry lately. when i am mad at a lot of people it makes me wonder if it is me and not them.
- I have nothing better to do... Cincinnati Quiz!!
- I can't sleep. My mom woke me up at like 5 or 6 this morning. I can't get back to sleep. I've been having a hard time sleeping anyway. I guess I just have a lot on my mind.
- Tonight was kinda weird. My mom comes home and she told me she bought me some stuff to eat. However, she bought me stuff that was against my diet to eat.
- No entry for October…who knows what I was doing that month!
- It has been a while since I've written one of these...I think it has been nearly two months. I got another job. I work at the Towne Mall at the bookstore/calendar kiosk. It is...pretty boring.
- I was sitting on the couch eating teddy grahams and watching Oprah when my mother comes into my living room to tell me that my sister, Sandy, tried to kill herself.
I've pretty much figured out that this has been a really rotten year for me. Here is how it breaks down:
The Bad:
- Lost my job at the MUM library
- Lost a few friends this year for stupid reasons
- Got a sucky job at the mall and then promptly quit
- Can’t find a good part time job (okay, the job at the MPL is ALRIGHT but the hours are too short and the pay isn’t fabulous) I mean, HELLO! I have my bachelors degree
- No boyfriend or even a person that could come close (I don’t NEED a boyfriend, I would just like to find someone to connect with…someone to flirt with other than Meg, Laura and Will [I still love you guys though…])
- Family issues
- My classes sucked and I wonder if I am following the right path
The Good
- The friends that I have are great friends
- I graduated from Miami
- I’m going to pass this semester
- I became a vegan! (yeah, it still feels like a good thing)
- It is almost 2007
The In-between
No Zombie Attacks
Current Music: Mis-shapes, Pulp |
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My parents just bought a new washer and dyer. Both have clear tops so you can see what is going on in the machine. It is actually kind of addictive to watch. I think I'm going to listen to Dark Side of the Moon to it...you know, get the full experience.
Real update later,
AlishaCurrent Mood:  amused Current Music: dark side of the moon? |
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Mom and I were watching Gilmore Girls Season 2 and in it Rory goes visits Harvard and guess who played one of the Harvard students? HIRO!!! Yes, Masi Oka, who plays Hiro on "Heroes" played as an extra on the show. I was like "OH MY GOD! IT'S HIRO!!!" and then I giggled and clapped my hands like a moron. I know...I need help.
Peace and Love,
AlishaCurrent Mood:  chipper Current Music: David Bowie |
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I was sitting on the couch eating teddy grahams and watching Oprah when my mother comes into my living room to tell me that my sister, Sandy, tried to kill herself. My mom told me that it was because she was trying to get back at her ex-husband. Then she asked me if I wanted to talk to my sister on the phone. At first, I said yes but then I thought about it and I wasn't so sure anymore. I mean, what would I say? I had a lot of mixed feelings. I know that I can't empathize with my sister. I've been depressed but I never tried to kill myself. I also thought my sister was being selfish. I mean, she has a 8-year-old son. How horrible would it be for him if his mother killed herself? Also, the thought of killing yourself for a man makes me three shades of sick. My sister is a cool, smart, funny person. Why should she be wasting her time with her loser ex-husband? Also, I know that my sister doesn't like me very much. She thinks that my parents treated me better and I know she is angry that I finished college. I don't really think I'm worthy of being jealous of by her. My parents always regarded Sandy as the smartest of the three of us. Not to mention, I have no idea what I want to do with my life. So, overall, I just didn't know what to say to her. I didn't want to lecture her and I don't know how to sympathize. Maybe I just need to think for a while. I don't mean to cut her off. I just have a hard time with these things. I'm angry at her and sad for her at the same time. Also, my mother said that Sandy was angry because dad called her names like "ugly" and "fat." My mom said she didn't believe that my dad would say those things and I told her that dad has called me names like that, too. Actually, my mom also does a bit of name calling as well. However, I did tell her that we all went through verbal abuse but it has affected each one of us differently. I mostly said that to make my mom believe that my sister's behavior isn't her fault (and I don't really blame them 100% either). However, I do think my parents have done some emotional scarring. They aren't the worst parents in the whole world, but they aren't the best either. All I really want is to have a relationship with both of my sisters. I don't want them going off trying to kill themselves (my other sister, Angela, tried to do it as well when we were teenagers). I might talk to my sister tomorrow and let her know that I'm at least there for her. I don't feel like we have been before but my sister obviously needs help now.
To continue with the depressing news, I just got rejected for a job I interviewed for a couple weeks ago. They sent me a letter. My mom tried to read it to my dad but I took it from her and trashed it. She said I was being a baby. I can't help it if I am upset that I didn't get the job that I wanted and I didn't really want my mom to gleefully read it to my dad. Her words were, "But it is such a nice letter!" and I'm like "I don't care if it says I'm the greatest person in the world and I deserve an award, it is still a rejection letter." Britton says my mom has some serious mental issues.
I kind of want to end this blog on a positive note...so...my birthday was last Sunday but my friends and I are going to Rocky Horror Picture Show this Saturday. We are all going to meet at my house around 10pm. However, I think I will be going to Kidd Coffee beforehand, so if any of you guys want to meet there that would work out too. I'll probably be there between 7:30pm-9:30pm. Lets have a good time so we can all get some of this stuff off our minds at least for a little while.Current Mood:  depressed |
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| » Deep thoughts |
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It has been a while since I've written one of these...I think it has been nearly two months.
I got another job. I work at the Towne Mall at the bookstore/calendar kiosk. It is...pretty boring. However, I really need the hours. I'm still applying for more full-time work. Hopefully, I can get something more meaningful than this.
Lately, I haven't been really sure if I want to be a librarian anymore. I mean, I hate all of my classes right now. That's a bad sign, right? Then again, I haven't gotten into any of the children's library work yet. I'm hoping that I will enjoy those classes more. I kinda realized that my real passion comes from film. I just love dissecting them, thinking about all the pieces that make up a film. My personal favs are the Swedish films. I've thought about getting a second masters or a doctorate in film studies, but I might do that later. I think I've decided that even if I end up hating all of my classes, I'm going to finish grad school, get a job and then start writing. I need to just write. Write anything. Write in this little blog. I also want to get a little camera and start filming things that I see. All of this may lead to nothing and I might just end up being a librarian and maybe I'll have stacks of unpublished poems and home movies, but those are always things that I can always look back at.
In less depressing news, my birthday is coming up. It will be in a couple weeks on the 26th. I plan on going to Rocky Horror with a few friends on Dec 2. The people that can't do Rocky Horror, we can come up with something else to do, if you want. I also plan on doing something separate with my parents.
Tonight, my friend, Brian, and I are going to go to the opera. It should be a fun time. It starts at 7:30pm, so I am not going to be going to Kidd tonight. Sorry, guys. I'll try to come next week.
So, I'll be writing another update in another two months (jk). Ta-ta til then!
Nov. 11th, 2006 @ 01:27 pm
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| » Birthday Pirates |
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Ahoy!! Today be talk like a Pirate Day!! Yarr!! And it also be my matey Britton's birthday.
Happy birthday to Ye, Britton!!
Now, go swab the poop deck!! I want to be seeing my face in it by mornin'!!
Sep. 19th, 2006 @ 09:53 pm
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| » If only veganism was the weirdest thing about me |
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Tonight was kinda weird. My mom comes home and she told me she bought me some stuff to eat. However, she bought me stuff that was against my diet to eat. I told her I wouldn't eat the food for ethical reasons and she got pissed. I understand why she is pissed but at the same time I told her before to never buy me any food (because I admit, sometimes vegans are hard to shop for) and I don't think I should have to compromise my ethics for food. She said "Oh, well you can just eat it this once" and I'm like "That's true but if I eat it this time I'll have to eat something else that isn't on my diet the next time and the next. Just don't worry about buying me stuff, okay?" She said I'm turning into a weirdo and I'll never find a guy because I'm so weird. Umm...Yeah. She also said that she is going to stop buying me stuff PERIOD because I never appreciate anything. She said I can buy my own birthday presents. I told her that I'd rather get nothing because the point of birthday presents is to get something from someone you love that picked out something especially for you from their hearts not about how much money is spent. (I brought up this point to Britton because his birthday is in a little less than two weeks and he still won't tell me what he wants...) I know that this will blow over with me and my mom but I know it will come up again and again. Erm. Oh, and Britton told me that I can get my revenge on her when I'm older and she's in a retirement home...Guess who gets to eat mashed up peas and bananas everyday of their life until they die??? Bwahahahaha!!
Sep. 7th, 2006 @ 11:40 pm
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| » School and work |
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Update time!!
Well, I had my first day of class yesterday. It was very...boring. I mean, it was basically the prof going on and on for 3 hours about the "changing library" and how "technology is so much more advanced now." Bleh. Well, it was an introductory class, what could I expect? However, everyone in my class is really nice (unlike the Oxfordland snobs) and a lot of them came up to me and introduced themselves before or after class or during the break. I'm gald they're friendly because we'll probably all have the same classes for at least the next year or so.
Oh, and for anyone who is interested...here is my class schedule:
Tuesdays from 6:15pm-9:55pm: Foundations of Library and Information Science
Thursdays from 5:30pm-8:10pm: Organization of Information
Web Based Class: E-Publishing on the Web
I also just started my new job. I work in the Children's Dept of the Middletown Library. The people there are pretty nice too. So far, it's been really fun working with kids. The only thing I don't like about the dept is that it seems fairly unorganized as far as the books go. I just want to jump in and fix it. However, that isn't my job. So far, all I do is shelve and that might be all that I do. Heck, at least it is only 2 hours per day. Right now, I'm going to try to get another job at the bookstore in the mall. All I really need is another 10 hours or so and the manager said that he would be hiring soon. So, wish me luck!! Also, if I get the job...maybe I can get discounts. YAY DISCOUNTS!!
Here is my work schedule at the library starting next week:
Tuesday-Saturday: 2pm-4pm
You can visit me if you want to but I wouldn't recommend it since I only work for a couple hours. The most I could really do is say hello.
Well, that's pretty much all for me right now. I'll let you guys know if a billion dollars falls on my lap. If that happens, two words: pizza party!!
Aug. 30th, 2006 @ 01:24 pm
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| » blown |
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From America: The Book...
"If 'con' is the opposite of 'pro,' then isn't Congress the opposite of progress? Or did we just fucking blow your mind?!?"
I love Jon Stewart...
Aug. 28th, 2006 @ 01:09 pm
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| » Offensive in almost everyway... |
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I just read about this...
"Just when you thought animal experimenters couldn't get any lower, along come new cruel and pointless "gay sheep" experiments. That's right; Charles Roselli of Oregon Health and Science University (OHSU) and Frederick Stormshak of Oregon State University (OSU) are killing homosexual sheep and cutting open their brains in an attempt to find the hormone behind homosexual tendencies so that these tendencies can be changed. And guess what? Roselli plans to "cure" humans of their homosexual tendencies next."
Ugggg...
Aug. 23rd, 2006 @ 12:22 pm
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| » Back from Kent |
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Hey ya'll...
I just got back from Kent this weekend...and it was...pretty boring. Hahah. Well, I mean, it was a class. It was alright. Both of the profs that taught the class were really nice and I know both of them will teach classes I am taking so I am pretty excited about that. Also, everyone in my class was really friendly, too. We're a quiet bunch...really ironic huh? Quiet librarians...who'da thunk? Anyway, it got me pretty excited to take more library classes, which is good since they start in about 9 days...
Just a few more things about my Kent trip...there is NOTHING inbetween Dayton and Columbus and nothing between Columbus and Cleveland. That INCLUDES Kent. That is one of the most boring towns I have ever been to. Our hotel sucked. It was in Streetsboro (which is another boring town) and it was about 15 minutes away from Kent. Also...I went with my parents (so they could have a vacation too) and my dad SNORES!! I took sleeping pills and my dad still kept me up. I told him that it should be an honor for him to know that my dad is stronger than drugs.
But back on the plus side...I got a call from the public library while I was away. I'm hoping they are going to offer me a good job. Whew...finally...a new job!! (I honestly can't believe how upset I was about not having one). However, this job is probably for only 10 hours a week. Erm... but it is a local job and it keeps me in the library field. I could always get a second job. I'm still hoping this job I applied for at Lane Public Library comes through because they pay more, it has better hours and it is a higher position in the library field overall. However, it has been a month since I quit my last job, so I really just want to jump into a new one.
Guess what else...my parents bought me Rocky Horror Picture Show!! ^_^ I also got a book and Waynes World (I'm sorta shocked we didn't already have it). Why did I get all these presents? I dunno. Maybe I'm dying...eh! Who cares!! I have Garth!! ^_^
Party on
Aug. 20th, 2006 @ 12:29 am
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| » (No Subject) |
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Well, it looks like the guy I like's date went really well and he says he is "smitten" with her on myspace and considers himself "in a relationship." Le sigh...oh well...back to stalking random band members from California...
In other news, I am in a class...right now!
Later
Alisha
Aug. 19th, 2006 @ 10:53 am
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| » accccckkkkkkk! |
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I really hate to bitch and complain but I've been just feeling really depressed lately. It gets to the point where I can't sleep. I can just feel the depression in my gut. I mean, I know I don't have a horrible life. In fact, for the most part, I have a really good life. I have some freaking awesome friends (for example, Laura held my arm today as I nearly had a heart-attack on a rollercoaster ride [and she would also help me with the other "rollercoaster rides" in my life] and Britton would pretty much give me the clothes off his back if I asked and my other friends are really awesome and I'm grateful for them too). My parents are also pretty cool even if my mom tends to nag me a lot. I'm smart and funny and not too bad looking. But you know...sometimes it is just hard to see the good when I feel really bad. Writing this helps though.
Most of the things that I have been depressed about haven't really changed. I'm depressed that I don't have a job. There is one job that I applied for that seems perfect but I haven't heard back from them. I did end up e-mailing Gayle. I apologized for what I did because I do feel sorry for it. I always considered Gayle a friend and it is very hard to lose a friend (more on that later). I'm guessing she hasn't read it yet because she can be slow about doing that but I'm really afraid that she either won't read it or read it and decide that my apology isn't good enough.
Another thing that is depressing me is that Katelyn pretty much won't talk to me anymore. I've also apologized about what I did to make her not want to talk to me but I guess I just don't understand her unwillingness to forgive. Maybe it is because we aren't really close or maybe because we haven't talked about it in person. I don't really know.
I'm also sad because I want to find someone who is right for me romantically and it just isn't working out. I like this guy but for the most part he barely notices me. I know this is partly my fault because I'm really shy especially around him. He is going on a date this weekend. Part of me wishes him the best of luck, another part thinks she is totally wrong for him right now (she is going through some hard times, I guess), and then, of course, another part of me is jealous as all get out. I mean, I know that if it never works out with me and him that I will find someone else. I mean, like I said, I ain't too bad looking. Ha ha!
Speaking of, I've currently started a new diet. I'm trying my best to go vegan. So far, it is working out pretty well. I bought lots of vegan stuff this week and all of it is yummy so far. Also, I'm trying to cut down on the snacking. I mean, I know it is okay to eat a snack or two a day but I usually snack when I'm not even hungry. So far, I've controlled it. I think not having a job makes it a bit harder though.
School starts in a few weeks. I have a workshop this weekend. My parents and I are driving up to Kent State. The two classes are from 9:00am to 4:30pm. The workshop is basically about how the distance learning program works. Then after that I'm taking Access to Information, Foundations of Library and Information Science and E-Publishing on the Web. Those classes start on the 28th. The first two classes are held in the Franklin library on Tuesdays and Thursdays (one class per day for about 3 hours). The E-Publishing class is an online class. I never took one of those before, so I am a little nervous about it. I'm just hoping that I enjoy my classes because it would suck to go through all of this and then decide that I hate librarianship.
Anyway, this is a pretty long bitchy blog and I'm sorry for that. I just really needed to vent.
Aug. 16th, 2006 @ 12:08 am
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| » Tired but can't sleep |
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I can't sleep. My mom woke me up at like 5 or 6 this morning. I can't get back to sleep. I've been having a hard time sleeping anyway. I guess I just have a lot on my mind.
I'm currently looking for a new job because I quit the old one. I've put my application in at a few library jobs but none of them seem to be hiring. I also put my application in at a job placement agency. I'm thinking about putting in a few at the Barnes and Noble stores around here. I'm also thinking about putting in an application with Lexus Nexus because my dad's boss' son is a higher up there.
I keep going over what happened at my previous job and it always makes me sick. I want to be able to forgive Gayle but it is really hard. I also want to be able to forgive myself. That always seems harder...
I'm going to try to find something to do...wish me luck...
Aug. 4th, 2006 @ 08:35 am
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| » Ode to the Suck |
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OMG!! Work situation has gone into suck mode...
So, yesterday, I was at work and I guess I accidentally misplaced a book. Gayle pretty much chewed me out and then in so many words said I wasn't good at my job. This is not the first time she has chewed me out in this way. Most of the time when she treats me like this the problem wasn't really even my fault. Also, nothing that she has scolded me for, with one exception, has caused any harm. I didn't say anything to her but I collected my things and planned on chilling out downstairs. Well, Gayle followed after me, sreaming, pretty much saying that I had no right to turn my back to her and blah blah blah. At that point I decided to just go home.
The next morning, I AIMed Meg and Mike and Mike told me that I was pretty much fired. I called John to ask him if this was true but he said firing me wasn't in his thoughts at all.
I talked to John for a long time and he pretty much told me that Gayle has done this to other staff members and student workers. He said that she has been way out of line as of late. We pretty much decided that I would work very little with Gayle and I would cut down my hours as I saw fit until things settle down. He and I spent most of our meeting, however, talking about some projects we have going on this summer. Honestly, I was shocked. John didn't scold me in the slightest. He felt that I made the right choice in going home early yesterday. He also said he would talk to Gayle for me.
So, right now Gayle and I aren't on speaking terms. While I feel that she did have a right to scold me for losing a book, I don't think it was as big of a deal as she was trying to make it out to be. It was found later that day. John said he didn't remember how it was found. I admit I may have been a little scatter-brained but it happens to us all, right? Well, hopefully, Gayle and I will get all of this sorted out. Since she is going on vacation next week, hopefully, she'll get some time to cool down.
On another suck-note...
So far I can only take 2 courses next semester in grad school. I need to take at least 3, so I can use my mom's medical insurance. There is an online course but right now it is full. There are classes I can take in Kent or Columbus but I would really rather avoid the drive to those places. Siiigh. Hopefully, something good will pop up.
Okay, must think of something good that is going on...
umm...
Well, I sorta get along with my mom and dad now. That's good, right? Siiigh, the best thing I can come up with is my parents...I'm so lame...
Jul. 18th, 2006 @ 05:50 pm
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| » Grabble Bibble |
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life has been fairly interactive lately...(what does that even mean?!?)
so, saturday was my dad's b-day. it was pirate of the carribean themed...so...we went to see...SUPERMAN!! jk...we saw pirates 2. then around 8 i went to kidd to chill with will and laura. that's one of my favorite things to do anymore. my dad thinks it is lame but i can't say i care.
today i went to journey with will and scott. i'm glad i went because i really needed a dose of faith. my parents, of course, gave me a hard time about it but i let their comments slide off my back. my mom thinks i go to things like that because they are "fun." it is fun but there is slightly more to it than that.
i also got into ANOTHER arguement with my mom. i don't think she is 100% wrong about what she said. i think it is just the way she says things that is the problem. she just knows how to press my buttons....and she does it on a daily basis. i just can't stand how i am around her. it is ugly and i hate it.
i need to work on my confidence. i never know what to say to people i just meet. i want to say something witty and then i don't think people really like that. i want to make chit-chat without it sounding like chit-chat...i need to stop being such a freak...ACK! CONFIDENCE!!
miss laura bolling is going to cleveland. i hope she has a great time and things go well. ^_^
Jul. 16th, 2006 @ 11:22 pm
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| » I LOVE IT!! |
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My friend, Carla, showed me this...
Jul. 12th, 2006 @ 06:17 pm
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| » (No Subject) |
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I have nothing better to do... Cincinnati Quiz!!
Jul. 11th, 2006 @ 06:40 pm
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| » (No Subject) |
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Hey Bolling...what do you think of this...
Your Sagittarian fire mixes well with an airy Gemini, despite your differences. Gemini is interested in what's exciting right now, and rarely looks toward tomorrow. You're a big thinker with long-term plans. Gemini can get on your nerves, though, because regardless of whether they have anything to say or not, they never stop talking. Nonetheless, you offer each other a new way of looking at the world around you, which will make you a good team. You can both be a little scattered, though, so someone is going to have to step up and be the grounded one.
Jun. 22nd, 2006 @ 01:30 am
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aralerydia's journal